The Ultimate Boredom Solver
by disillusionist9
Summary: April 1st, 2016. Fred and George restrain themselves from pranking a single person their entire 38th birthday. Until the end, of course! Originally posted on tumblr. Happy Birthday, Gred and Forge! Rated for mild language.
1. Chapter 1

"I never thought that your missing ear could look worse, but age has proven me wrong!"

"Like your liver spots make you the most attractive bloke!"

Fred lunged to placed George in a headlock. "If I did have liver spots - _which I don't, you wanker_ \- you'd have ones to match, dearest Forge."

"Don't start that again!" Angelina appeared around the corner of the kitchen, her dish towel brandished at the men scrabbling on the living room floor as dictatorially as a wand. "You two turn _thirty eight_ today not _ninety eight_ and are acting like you're not even old enough for Hogwarts! Honestly!"

As soon as Angelina disappeared back around the corner of the kitchen, after glaring at them into what appeared to be submission, George reached out to shove Fred once more.

"You'd be the first to get them anyway. You're older."

Fred's serious look, for the benefit of George's wife, melted instantly. "And that's why _I_ get to blow out the candles this year."

"Absolutely not!" George's voice was a stage whisper, not willing to risk Angelina's wrath for the second time in as many minutes.

The twins grappled as quietly as possible, all knees and elbows askew, before Bill arrived with Fleur and bodily towed them apart. The effort was short lived. Two on one was hardly fair, but Fleur made no move to assist, a quiet smile on her face as she brought Louis into the other room to assist her sister-in-laws in creating the massive feast to feed the entire Weasley clan.

Whenever the school's Easter holidays fell on the twin's birthday it ballooned into a barely controlled frenzy of celebration. The days leading to April Fool's were the busiest of the year for the shop, and they vacationed on the day of to participate in their own pranks.

"Bloody hell!" erupted from the next room at the same time as a painful _whump_ as Bill likely fell over from the sheer weight of his brothers. Even the added werewolf-like strength couldn't stop the two.


	2. Chapter 2

Fred swayed absently to the sound of music drifting around the dining table. Seated on his right, his wife leaned into his shoulder more heavily, setting her glass of elf-made wine down to wrap both arms around his torso.

Contented smiles and heavy lidded eyes surrounded him. Mum's cooking was brilliant, as always, and now that she let Angelina and the rest of the wives in the kitchen the dinners only served to expand their waistlines almost as full as their hearts.

A slight pinch on his other arm, the one not wrapped around Tracey's shoulders, brought his attention to his twin.

"Never thought you'd be happy to sit idly by and let all these unsuspecting people walk through an April Fool's Day without a _single_ prank, brother." George's equally relaxed face and tone took the sting out of the ribbing.

Teddy's song ended with a trill of his acoustic guitar and the smattering of applause caught their attention.

Fred's lips quirked mischievously, and he planted a kiss on his wife's head before disentangling from her gently. "You underestimate me."

Tracey laughed under her breath, capturing her husband for a moment in a kiss. "It's like you've learned no subtlety from me at _all_."

"You'll just need to continue being Slytherin enough for the both of us," Fred whispered, a full on smirk lighting up his face.

The family really should have noticed the disappearance of the birthday boys, their mother keeping a closer eye on the two. As it was Teddy and Victoire played their parts very well. An interview of sorts was underway for the two, as well as a way to test one of the inventions the twins were developing behind the scenes.

"Did everyone…?"

George scoffed, walking just ahead of Fred onto the porch outside. "Absolutely."

Bright lights and loud bangs from out on the lawn made the children scream in delight and a wave of family pour out of the house, sure they were about to witness another legendary Weasley Wizard Wheezes light show.

What they didn't expect was the effect of the substance mixed into everyone's slice of birthday cake to kick in and start to change their internal molecular structure. Just slightly. Just enough.

"Momma, I can fly!" squealed one of the youngest boys, reaching out for Susan Bones-Weasley's hands, even as his mother began to float gently just above the ground with each step.

Harry swiveled his head around to find the twins, easy to catch by their extra dose of Bouncing Brew projecting them high enough for their mother to screech at them to get _away_ from those fireworks or you'll lose your other ear! A swift wink in the brother's direction, he shot them a thumbs up and propelled towards Ginny even as his wife bounced to meet him. A dull thunk made several of the family around them groan in sympathy of their surely aching heads.

Teddy with his guitar fueled the brew as he continued to play through the night. Victoire sat cross legged next to him the entire time. She took notes of the effects so studiously an onlooker may mistake her for Hermione, if the two women weren't so physically different.

It wasn't the meanest, or cleverest, or most intricate April Fool's prank they'd ever pulled, but the night spent leaping into the air and starting pick up games of Quidditch certainly was one of the most memorable ever. Fred and George couldn't imagine a better way to begin their thirty eighth year.

* * *

 **[A/N] 4.1.2016**

 _Thank you for sharing a happier ending with me, and to the endless support of my tumblr buds m1sch1efmanaged, chiseplushie, and all the other wonderful bloggers. They are here on FFN as well!_


End file.
